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” The car backed up slowly. “Okay, good, now brake. Push hard. Make it stop. Keep your foot on the brake and put it in drive, the D.” For the next ten minutes we drove up and down the long driveway. She was pretty smooth and could hit the brake hard when I yelled. “All right. Now we are going to go around the block. Four right turns. Understand? Left turns are a lot harder.” She nodded, backed out and got turned properly. Then she stopped and said, “I’m scared.” “Okay, can you put it back in the driveway?” She nodded and did it, a bit crooked, set the hand brake and turned off the engine. Out came the long-legged trophy wife, carrying her handbag. Wordlessly, she got in the Mustang and roared away. “I think she doesn’t like me,” said the girl. “Come on in. I'll get you a Coke.” We sat at the kitchen table and she blinked at me, licked her lips and said, “So, how about you making love to me?” “Now?” I asked, smiling and feeling the start of deep arousal. She nodded. “I’m sixteen and. I felt like a mean hearted SOB for feeling the way I did, but I couldn't seem to find a way to change my feelings.After the session before last, I lost my enthusiasm for ranting at Jenny. I just couldn't muster the passion if I wasn't going to call her a slut and a whore, or something similar. Talking to a shrink has helped some, although I don't know why; I never believed in that sort of thing, certainly not that it might have any effect in just a week. Still when we went back to see Dr. Gardner after sleeping in the same bed for a week, I was beginning to think that there might be some outer limits to my anger, that I might be able to contain it. I found I was looking forward to tonight when I could say positive things to her, and I always meant those.If only - are there any sadder words? If only I could stop seeing images of her with those officers. I keep replaying conversations I had with those men, wondering if they ever let me hear them laughing at me, taunting me. Every time.
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