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It's up to you. Bye."Sheila went out and closed the door behind her. I went over to themirror and looked at myself. I was so full of doubts and conflictingfeelings. I knew my confidence was low, who's wouldn't after the day Ihad just experienced, but looking at the girl in the mirror, I also knewthat I liked what I was seeing.My heart was beating like a drum. I had conflicting and strange emotionsthat I could not put properly into words. I looked at the image ofmyself for ages and imagined what it would be like to live as a girl. Itlooked as if the prospect of it happening was almost inevitable. I feltthe silkiness of my blouse, and then slid my hands down my skirt. Iexperienced a thrill at the feel of my feminine attire. It was strange,weird, kinky and downright eerie, but I couldn't deny it, I liked theway I looked and felt.Perhaps I should have been born a girl. I know that some people feelthat way. But until now, I thought I was 100% male. Now I didn't know.'Oh God," I thought. I’ve learnt by this point that forcing a conversation with Ida isn’t the right way to get her talking. For now it seems I’ll have to be content with her unspeaking trust, which I know is far more than I deserve. I know better than to expect her to suddenly open up, regardless of our budding friendship. I hope in time though, that she will trust me enough to tell me her entire story and that one day I can share mine with her. In the meantime, I’ll settle for looking after her and making sure that she is never hurt again. Of course, as soon as I think this, my baby kicks me through my ever-expanding belly and triggers another awful wave of growing pains. Here we go again.I almost fall off my seat at the unbearable assault and Ida, my nurse and my ward, is at my side in a flash. She half-carries me to Asmodeus’ throne room and leads my convulsing body toward the bed. During that short but excruciating trip I think I threw up once or twice. My body is all agony; my brain a scrambled.
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