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” He sighed. “See, I know there’s other people in the world who are objectively a lot worse than him—terrorists, dictators, whatever—but my dad is still my personal least-favorite human being on the planet. I don’t want to be anything like him.”“You’re not!” It came out louder than I’d intended.“Yeah, but I never had that example, you know? The only thing I ever learned about relationships was how not to do things; how miserable people can get when they’re trapped together for their whole lives. Anyway, sorry, I don’t like talking about this stuff, let me try again with that toast.”As he headed back to the pantry I called after:“Hey, I never met your dad, but from the way you describe him, I’d guess that his real problem wasn’t that he hated being stuck living with your mom his whole life. It was that he hated being stuck living with himself.”Connor didn’t say anything more about it. His second attempt at toast came out much better than the first.The four of us had a blast in the snow. Not yet.Tiffany cheered, clapped and gave me a big kiss.Then she dropped another bomb."Jennifer, now that I know that you lean toward your pink side...no,Jennifer...don't protest. You know it's true. Now that I know. Iwant to show you how to keep healthy. Daddy."Mr. Gusher spoke. "Jennifer, a pantyboy like you or Tiffany, needs tobe 'emptied' before she goes to sleep each night. Or she could injureherself. Now I know you probably do a self-emptying each night beforesleeping, am I right, Jennifer?"I blushed."I thought so. Anyway, self-emptying is rarely complete. And It's farfrom ideal from a medical perspective. Trust me on this. It's on theInternet. A pantyboy's best emptying comes from a man. A real man.It's OK, even preferred, if it's her Daddy. But there are incestlimits, as you'll see. Tiffany and I have no incest limits, but weimpose some limits anyway. Too much talk. Let me show you. Let'spretend it's bedtime for Tiffany and I'm ready to tuck her in. I.
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