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Not wanting to give myself a chance of backing out, I sat cross-legged on the floor, and closing my eyes, focused on my slow breathing. In…out. Thinking of nothing else. I did that for as long as I could, before opening my eyes and letting the thoughts come to me.Amy staring at me.Kyra at the swings, Jeanne taking photos.Sarah laughing at my joke.How Amy was like a daughter to me.Was.Not ‘is’. ‘Was’.Which surely means that I don’t now, right?It was 13-year-old Amy that was like a daughter to me, and the simple truth is that the woman staying at my house tonight is not her. After she tried to kiss me during her first visit, I could no longer think of her in that way. Maybe I wouldn’t be saying this if she had been in my life constantly, but she wasn’t. Try as I could, I couldn’t even picture her as a 13-year-old anymore. I just saw her as she is now, a beautiful, witty young woman and all that I need now was the courage to go up and tell her. Sunshine had come back to bed with us and we all kissed and hugged for a while. June suggested we go downstairs for some before supper drinks. June put on her dress, Sunshine put on one of my shirts she had claimed, and I put on shorts and T-shirt. We all had a Beefeaters (Sunshine a small one) before June made a call. A couple of minutes later four sets of twins came in the door. Joey thanked June for letting them use her house for studying. She said they weren't done but it was great to have the space and quiet. The D's said that the S's were helping them with some tough courses they were taking this summer.June had supper in the oven so the girls set the table and put out the salads. June and I had another drink while Sunshine had some fruit juice. We had a nice supper. All of the girls went into action and had the table and kitchen clean and the dishwasher filled.After supper, the twins all went back next door while Sunshine, June and I sat in the kitchen and had coffee visiting.
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