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I was but a nurtured bud, eagerly reaching for the skies, reaching for life. I grew in fits and starts that often left me awkward, but never sheepish. I could never fathom what it meant to give up, or be denied the sense of right that a firm embrace would bring. Now I don’t remember the first time I smiled, but I remember the first time I smiled at him and again, it was with the sun shining overhead. Forever after, would I dream of blue skies and the kissing warmth of that mid-summer breeze. I close my eyes and still, I can remember what it felt to be cradled by such arms. Nature pushed me onwards and I grew tall, taller still and lean. My frame blossomed from the bud it had been and the shape I was to be, slowly formed. My hair was often a mess and my grin, just as unabashedly splayed over one cheek to the other. I grew to dance and weave in the breeze, testing the strength I was recently discovering. I can remember reaching out to him, holding him so very tightly to me and feeling. , deliciously cool, and the sounds distant and vague like steps up a mountain we never had to climb far away, and I loved him and was him and he loved me and was me, and I cupped the back of his golden head and I touched tongue to tongue with him and we pressed close together, and he was purest sexuality come with purest love, and we would never age or be sad, for all our lives were to be spent here in this piano room, and he would play for me, and I would kneel beside him and hold him round the middle, slight, he would be playing an etude on the keys and I would hold him softly as though he were the song, as though the music was coming through his bones and into mine. There were we, two, and we leaned against the egg crate wall and he touched me and it was like love, man, and it was the last crossing and the last change for us, as he squeezed my shoulders and said, ‘I want to be in you so far, I can be you. I want to turn the sadness off from you, from inside you.’ And I held him.
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