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As she was quickly discovering, however, he was taking the game to a whole other level, and she might as well resign herself to his will, body and soul. It would do much better to think of herself as a base animal, and simply follow orders, rather than try to anticipate and assume she knew what was coming next. This resolve, once she committed herself to it, was the only way she could force herself to follow his next command. For the tap was most certainly not where he intended her to get her drink. Rather, he walked to the toilet, opened the lid, lifted the seat, and simply made a hand gesture towards the “bowl” of water waiting for her. There were of course frantic thoughts running through her head: I can’t! I’ll get sick….it’s disgusting….he’s gone too far…….but oh my god……if I actually DO this, then I truly am a lowly creature here simply for his degradation….amusement…..use….and I KNOW that shouldn’t turn me on like it does….but I don’t think I’ve ever been this. He also told me ... that ending it like that might make the grief harder, and that I shouldn’t ‘push myself’ to get physical again right away. He was sort of offended that I asked, honestly.”He snorted. “Well that explains it. I got a rather long, emphatic lecture about how women shouldn’t be pressured into sex right after a miscarriage, and how important it was to have time to recover, and what an arse I would be if I didn’t leave you alone to heal.”I rolled my eyes. “This from the guy doing oral sex in the library after cheating on his girlfriend.”Alistair laughed, and the sound echoed around me comfortingly; he reached behind me to pull me up against his side, rearranging the blanket over to cover my legs.“I never dreamed you hadn’t been told the same thing. I couldn’t fathom why you were teasing us both when we couldn’t do anything about it – it seemed cruel, really, which was unlike you. I thought ... I thought if I just waited, we’d be okay. I never stopped wanting you, Sierra..
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