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You just don’t have the age and experience to go with it. The older you get, the more you’ll learn about girls and women. You’ll turn out to be a good one too, if you follow your ma’s teachings.”That made me feel good about myself, her telling me that. Here I am, just shy of fourteen years old.After supper, I walked out behind the barn to check on Red and his first love. I thought about that and wondered how it felt to mate. I had to wonder if I’d ever find a girl who’d love me and want to marry. I sure do have a lot more learning and a lot of growing up to do.I was so lost in my thoughts about my life and where it was going, I didn’t hear Darla until she spoke.“Joss, Mother was right about you. You’re already a young man. William, the boy I’m about to marry, is nowhere near the gentleman you are and he’s twenty-one. Mother tells me that I’ll have to really work with him, to teach him to love me gentle, since he was raised by his Pa and his older brothers. He’s rough and rowdy and he. He couldn't even begin to deny it to himself. He wasn't worried about giving her any sexually transmitted diseases, nor was he worried about catching any from her. He was worried that she would stop taking her pills or that she already had and that she would get pregnant. And he wasn't continuing to pay for her apartment because he was worried about the burden that would be placed on Maureen, her roommate. He was doing it so she could not claim official co-habitation when (if, his mind corrected) things went sour with her. He did these things as a matter of course, with the cynicism of a man who knew that almost everyone in the world wanted something from him. It had never occurred to him that Rachel wouldn't understand, that his actions would seem offensive to her. Didn't she know the position he was in? Couldn't she appreciate that?He climbed out of the pool after about fifteen minutes, put on his robe, reactivated the security lights, and then went up the stairs to the balcony..
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