I know you do. Don’t worry about what society thinks is right or wrong ... trust your feelings. Trust me.”I sighed, and cried some more. Once again, it felt good to just lay there in his lap and let him hold me. I tried to think about what he was saying. I knew he was just saying it because he wanted me. That didn’t make it right. But I felt for him. I wanted to make him happy. But I couldn’t ... I just couldn’t. I knew what was right, and what was wrong.We talked, into the night. I tried to make him understand, and I think he did understand, but I think he just wanted what he wanted even more. He tried make me come around to his point of view, and he was very persuasive. I felt, more and more, an attraction to what he was saying. To just give up, and drown myself in his love. I hate to admit it, but I have to admit it. The attraction was strong. I kept looking at him and thinking, what are you doing, what are you thinking ... this is your son ... this child came from your body .... She was still wearing her torn nightdress, but apart from that she was naked.Yulia tried the bonds, but the only action she could manage was a very short forward movement of the hips together with a small rotation of her shoulders.“Oh God, please help me …” Panic was beginning to consume her and the SVR Agent realised now that they were going to torture her, and tried frantically to recall her training … but her mind was swimming with everything and nothing, and it was very difficult to think straight.“Think, think!” she muttered in an attempt to focus her thoughts.There was a chill in the room, but she was already sweating, her exposed skin glistening in the dark. As her eyes became used to the gloom, Yulia could see the shapes of dim lights and seemingly an electrical device, like a medical defibrillator.“Fuck …” she whispered to no one but herself.During her training at the Academy, no one had expressed any concern about death, accepting it as a distinct possibility, but being.
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