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Although the accommodations were modest, it was my first taste of self-sufficiency, and it was exhilarating. I spent evenings and weekends spending my new-found professional salary with friends at restaurants, bars, and so on, having a generally grand time. Retirement be damned - I had a long time before I had to worry about saving. To me, 401K was a bingo number, and IRA was my great uncle's first name. I was young and attractive, and had my triumphs and tragedies with the ladies. But win or lose, always enjoyed the chase. The first time I met Susan she was unloading her belongings into the other half of my duplex with the help of a few friends (2 male, 2 female, if I recall correctly). I was both pleased and surprised. I was surprised because I hadn't even known that the previous tenant had moved out. I was pleased because the previous tenant had been a greasy, hacking 50-some-year old man who named Morey who wore Hawaiian shirts and sandals with socks, and spent most of his time. At times I had lost control of it in the city. Bad things had happened, not that I minded what the beast did. I enjoyed that too, but I just didn't want to get caught. A beast rampaging through the city would be hunted and killed. A beast rampaging deep in the woods could be free.I just wished I had been able to drive further into the woods. I wanted to get far away from where people might be to let the beast roam free and hunt wild animal, but the beast preferred to hunt people. I allowed it do that on occasion, but tried to keep it under control.Soon, I stopped running, breathing fast, sucking the cool night air into my lungs, the initial surge of energy now dissipated. The anger had subsided and I could control my actions. Controlling the beast was a constant struggle, but I tried to keep its desires from overpowering me. I wanted to harness its power, revel in its strength, and meld with the beast. As long as I fed its desires, let the animal nature free, the beast could be.
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