Really we need a new roof, and the Vicar claims to know someone who will do that for only a hundred thousand.”David persisted, “But really it should cost twice that to do it properly?”The Churchwarden looked nervously round and nodded.“The heating?” asked David.“Don’t ask,” said Mr. Price, “It is a disgrace but there are no funds for that so we will have to make do.”“I wonder...” David seemed unwilling to continue.“Yes?” prompted the Churchwarden.“Would it be possible for you and I to have an informal meeting with the Bishop to discuss these matters, and the state of either the organ or the organist? There would be no need to involve anyone else, if you know what I mean?”At the meeting with the Bishop which took place during the following week and when they were seated in his office round a small conference table David laid out his understanding of the problems. “As I see it, All Saints has three urgent problems, the roof leaks, the heating is on its last legs, and either the organ,. She answered the door wearing a short blue dress and, I suspected and later confirmed, nothing else. She invited me in. The apartment itself was large and modern - the main living area dominated by the large pieces of pop art she used to decorate the place. The huge pieces of graphic artwork clashed violently with each other. I followed her to the kitchen. Once in there, she offered me a joint. "Is roast lamb ok with you? I thought you could carve it." I tried to slice the meat, but my hand was shaking like crazy. "Are you going use that knife or just play with it," she mocked. In the end I just ended up mutilating the piece of meat - the evening hadn't started well and my nerves were just getting worse. She must have picked up on my nerves because she decided to lighten the mood. "I'll put some music on - do you like jazz?" "Err, yeah, sure, I'm a big fan." I choked on my reply as she leaned back over her kitchen counter to switch on the CD player. Her hard nipples poking through.
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