Some of the key moments over the next three years remain etched in my memory.She started her methodical demolition of my spirit by describing how Brenda had died."You only have yourself to blame for her death, Sean. If you had only listened to reason, if you had 'emerged' on Gael in the proper way, then she would still be alive."Her poor 'other-world' body was frail and couldn't withstand the forces your 'emergence' created. Her body splintered into a million tiny pieces. There wasn't a piece of her big enough to pick up, so thoroughly did you destroy her."How does that make you feel, Sean? How does it feel to be the one responsible for your lover's death? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!"The worst part of what Hassan was saying was the massive wave of guilt that I felt for being the one who had killed Brenda. Of course, that's what Hassan intended. I would learn that she always chose her words very carefully, and for maximum effect.She taunted me over Brenda's death every day for a year and I. Her room was bright and cartoonishly cheerful, colorful and sunshiny like she is. She pulled out a puzzle of Paris for us to work on together. While we pushed pieces around, she was full of questions about me, where I'd moved from, my boyfriend, my family. She seemed to want to know everything about me."Have you ever been kissed by a girl?" She seemed to blurt it out of nowhere. "No, I've only kissed Bryson. We don't mess around beyond that." Why not?" Because of church. Have you?" Yes I've kissed boys and girls both. I like girls better I think. They're so soft and sweet. Boys are fun too. But, they don't know how to do things for a girl that we like, not like girls do anyway." I guess I don't know about any of that either. I mean, I've never done any of it, so..." Are you curious?" She didn't waste any time."I mean, yeah of course." Because I really like teaching. You're really, really pretty. I'd love to show you how its done."All of a sudden my heart was pounding in my throat..
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