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‘That was very rude of me. It’s just that, well, er –‘ She hesitated. ‘Please be absolutely honest,’ I implored her. ‘Well, I’m sorry, James, but you weren’t at all what I was expecting. I thought you’d be, well, different somehow, and you’re just, well –‘ ‘Fat, bald, and fifty?’ ‘I was going to say ‘ordinary’. If I passed you in the street I shouldn’t look at you twice. I’m sorry for the way I reacted, but to be honest, I’d built up this picture of you as so imposing and charismatic and it was just such an anticlimax.’ ‘That’s all right,’ I said. ‘I want you to be honest. Have you noticed anything else?’ ‘Not a thing. In fact, if you really want me to be honest, I’m beginning to think some of my students have decided to perpetrate an incredibly elaborate practical joke.’ ‘If they had,’ I suggested, ‘they’d have found a more glamorous leading man.’ ‘And, and …’ Laura’s mind was clearly in a whirl with this idea, but then she rejected it. ‘A nice girl like Penny would never have. My sensible undies came with them, and there was just the little bit of my secretions on the warm gusset. I looked at the counter in front of me. There were various washed vegetables in a bowl and on the cutting board, most of them still uncut. I considered the small skinny Italian eggplant. It had a slightly bulbous end to it, just the right length and girth to my horny mind.Feeling naughty, I stroked myself with the end of the eggplant. The first contact with my lips shocked me at first as it was still cold, but it gradually warmed with a few strokes that were lubricated by my juice. I briefly considered that I was going to feed this to my family, and thought it would be poetic if my husband were to unknowingly eat it. I leaned over the counter, supporting myself with one arm as I teased myself, slipping the vegetable in a little, stroking, and probing.My breathing quickened as I slid the end of the eggplant inside, filling an ever increasing void, but it wasn't completely.
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