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“As a joke, my brother Jay used to hang a pair of panty hose over his
fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill
them.
What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay’s kids’ stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty.One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and
went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don’t sell those things at
Wal-Mart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown.
If you’ve never been in an X-rated store, don’t go, you’ll only confuse yourself. I was there an hour saying things like, ‘What does this do?’
’ You’re kidding me!’ ‘Who would buy that?’ Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section.
I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute
as a passenger in my truck so I could use the car pool lane during rush
hour. Finding what I wanted was difficult. ‘Love Dolls’ come in many different
. We got there rather quickly, walked into the house and saw Caroline standing by herself. I walked up behind her and grabbed her and lifted her up, which is quite easy, because she’s so tiny.“Put me down, you big ... Oh my Richard.”She turned around, glanced at me, and then over to Jennifer and then back to me.“You two, I can’t believe it. You two are in love with each other, aren’t you?” she said.Jennifer jumped in and said, “I’m sorry Caroline, I told Richard I could move out, but he told me I couldn’t because he loved me. The bigger problem is that I love him too, but you mean so much to me, I can’t break you two up, the planets aligned to get you two together, and I’m just a moon in your solar system.”Caroline countered with, “Awesome analogy Jenn, but to carry it through, they have found solar systems with more than just one sun, like on Tatooine in Star Wars.”Don’t you just love a cute redhead that can make a legitimate Star Wars reference?Mom walked in, “Well hello you two, are.
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