.. Tami caught my eye for reasons I didn’t fully understand at the time. Sure, I joked with the rest of the guys about whether she’d suck harder on a cock or a crack pipe. But it was more than just sex. She had her own darkness that appealed to me. When I looked at the school’s hot new black-clad junkie whore my blood boiled. To be honest, the urges I felt scared the shit out of me, but they would not be ignored. Tami and I hardly knew each other. She was poor white trash, ridiculed in the social circles that I ran in. The last thing I wanted to do was destroy my reputation by publicly slumming with some coked up goth slut. But if the rumors were right and Tami would spread her legs for anybody who could get her high, that was a price I would happily pay. My family didn’t have the kind of serious money I make now, but it was enough that I didn’t want for much. I didn’t use, but I had friends who could hook me up, no problem. So one night I just showed up at Tami’s single-wide. Certainly it is easy to kill a man who is not expecting it and is not defending himself. Children have accomplished this feat.My personal security lay entirely in two facts: Everyone knew that I was on constant alert and minimized my exposure; and a threat to my life was very likely to be dealt with preemptively and harshly.A whispered word stood the possibility of finding someone who would find me and then the whisperer's life — and possibly his family's and friends' lives — would cease quickly.Of course the fact that other people reacted the same way and protected themselves similarly was not lost upon me.I was not under the illusion that I existed in a vacuum. Still, I was surprised how quickly word of the increase in organizational violence reached the ears of people I wished it hadn't.The visits came within hours of each other.Det. Susan Kay was the first to grace my office. It was perhaps only the second or third time she had been there. Simply put, if she wanted to see me it.
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