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Seeing the two tents next to each other was a brutal reminder of how much they’d lost. They were practically strangers again. He’d been hoping for some kind of reconciliation, but they were both such different people now. Was it even possible? She couldn’t give him answers, but she had finally given him an apology. Was it enough? Could it really ever be enough?He wanted it to be, but it clearly wasn’t enough yet.Was he jealous? He presumed it was Quinn in there with her. Did that matter?“Fuck,” he repeated, less fiercely this time.He hated jealousy. It was poison. It never brought anything but pain, and it ran completely against everything he thought love should be. Jealousy was the desire for control. It was the antithesis of love. It always came from wants or expectations that were full of problems.So what was his problem?As soon as he asked himself the question, it was obvious, and just made him mad at himself.He wished it was him in there with her.He rolled his eyes at himself.. I wanted to act happy in front of my new school friends. But I couldn't. I guess I'm just too honest. Whenever I looked at a group of people laughing and having a good time, I start to wonder whether there's something wrong with me. Strangely, the people who tell me to lighten up and be positive are often the people who tell me to be myself. What if I'm just sad by nature? By acting happy and positive I'm not really being myself. I guess "be positive" and "be yourself" are just lines people memorize. Often when a friend gives advice, he or she just regurgitates lines from Oprah or Dr Phil. People just say things. They don't usually think about what they say.I'm sick of going to the mall. Whenever my friends ring me, they bring me to the mall. Whenever my mom and dad are home they bring me to the mall. I prefer to stay home and watch a movie, but Mom and Dad tell me that I shouldn't stay indoors for too long because then I'd miss out on the "real world." Walking in a mall is like.
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