.. I don't understand."April's expression had gone from one of attempted comforting, to one full of confusion. As I looked at her I couldn't help wanting to tell her, to say the things I always wanted to say but never could."Why I wouldn't tell you I'm a lesbian? Maybe because you might figure out other things. Like why I hang out with you so much, and why I love cuddling with you, and why I've never had a girlfriend."The dawning realization on her face might have been funny if I hadn't been so close to tears."What are you saying?" she asked, barely able to form her words."I'm saying it's you. It's fucking you. Always has been. I'm in love with my sister and it's completely pathetic and I hate it, but I can't help it."I gave in and started crying, right in front of her. I expected her to leave, or tell me to leave, or explain why my feelings for her were wrong, or even just sit there in stunned silence. What I didn't expect was for her to reach for me again and slowly pull me toward. " Don't worry, my intention is not to get you drunk and take advantage ofyou," he said with the most serious look on his face."Oh really," I replied raising an eyebrow. "I wasn't aware that you hadany intentions. Are there some ulterior motives at work here I shouldknow about?"As hard as I tried to keep a straight face, his cheeks flushed with colorso quickly that I couldn't hold back a laugh."I'm sorry Jay, but I can be a bit of a tease at times. Especially when Iknow I can get such a quick reaction. I promise I'll be good. I reallydon't mean to embarrass you." No problem. I guess I'm still trying to get a feel for when you areserious or when you're kidding with me," he replied.We chatted with our friends over dinner. The conversation ranged fromlocal news and events to politics to the latest who's going out withwhom. The food was good and the conversation and company was even better.I was so glad I had accepted Jay's invitation. At one point during dinnerI felt a slight nudge under.
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