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How would you like to go out for dinner tonight?”She actually did a little dance and, with enthusiasm, said “Oh Jake, you read my mind! Can we go to Outback?”“Well, Sweetie. I was thinking some place a little more elegant, but if you want Outback, I’m good with that. Why the Outback?”She answered me in her little girl voice, “I weighed myself and I’ve lost six pounds from my ideal weight so, I want a Bloomin’ Onion!” I chuckled to myself at that statement. Karen would never have eaten that delicious, calorie rich, fried, cholesterol packed hunk of indulgence in her previous life.“OK doll, you got it, go get dressed and we leave in one hour.”We went to the Outback and Karen had her Bloomin’ Onion, half of my steak, and a big gooey dessert. On the way home she thanked me and took a little nap in the car before we pulled into the garage and lowered the door. When we went to bed my rod was so hard a cat couldn’t scratch it. I was under the covers and facing the wall when Karen slipped. Sheila sashayed up to him, without ever breaking eye contact. She ordered a martini, with a cherry. Then she did the tongue trick, where the stem comes out knotted. This caused a man to my left to groan aloud. I was trying hard not to grin like the Cheshire Cat, and probably not succeeding. Having boiled the barkeep, Sheila strutted over to my little table.She drawled, "Hello, Daahling."The greeting was delivered in a deadpan imitation of an old Broadway actress, Tallulah Bankhead. Everyone recognized it. One of the men I knew was staring, wide-eyed and open-mouthed. I gave him a wink. Then I rose and offered Sheila my elbow. If she could make an entrance, we could both make an exit.We were escorted to a good table, near the dance floor, without being next to it. I was fortunate in a several ways: the band was oriented more to jazz than dance; they were playing from Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue, which is not, typically, a dance number; Sheila had not noticed the threads dangling from.
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