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She was a hitter, which came off as being adorable because it was rather like love taps from a kitten. When she had a bit of drink in her things changed, however, and she turned into a brutal brawler. She once missed several days work while she sorted out an assault charge in Louisiana; after bumrushing a state trooper in the groin. For the sake of privacy, and to preserve the stripper tradition, we’ll call her Apple. Apple was good friends with Candy, a tall and slender emo goth girl who wore too much eyeliner and hit the party favors a bit too hard. Candy had tried her hand as a stripper first, found it to be unsuited to her temperament, and instead began work as a cocktail waitress. So of course on Candy’s first day we plated up the old pony poker, and were more than a little disappointed when Candy simply sent it back with the note that her order had clearly been for medium rare, while this was still frozen. This was actually the first time someone had called us out on the little. “Would you like me to prepare a meal for you, Princess?”“Yes, please. What can you recommend that’s ... hm ... cheesy? And with a lot of carbs?”He paused just a moment. “I’ve found a recipe for baked chicken pasta with mozzarella and Béchamel sauce that has good reviews that include similar terms. This meal will be four servings, takes approximately an hour to prepare and cook, and the total cost of groceries for me to make this for you is $21.78. Do you consent to a charge of $21.78 for groceries and delivery so that I might prepare this dish for you?”“I consent,” I said happily.A pause. “The order has been placed. If you have no objections, Princess, I shall begin preparations as soon as it arrives. Estimated time of completion is 6:42 pm.”“Sounds perfect!”Daydreams of future recipes filled my mind. Were there limits to Thomas’s cooking skills? Sad to say, it already far exceeded me in the kitchen. But how skilled was it? It could chop faster than a human, and with no risk of.
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