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Never before had I heard such a virulent condemnation of cooking with pasta. I was about to beat a hasty retreat when she added: “I’ve got a home-made cottage pie you can have. But its tofu, not beef.”“Thank you. That would be wonderful.” Supper sorted, I accepted my neighbour’s invitation to share a drink in her kitchen, ‘A drink’ turned out to be two half-pint goblets of a fiendishly strong Hungarian burgundy, with a kick like a mule. In no time at all, we’d seen off the bottle. She slumped back in her chair, casually splaying her legs open. She was wearing no panties, revealing a magnificent pubic forest surrounding her quim. She made no attempt to pull her garment closed when she saw me gazing at her ‘forest’.“I gather from my wife that you were an art teacher.”“That’s correct. I taught classical art history at Cheltenham Ladies' College. And what line of business are you in, Mark?”“Computer graphics, although I originally studied fine art.”“Favourite artist?”“Caravaggio.”“Now. Mom and Dad bought me a set of pots and pans for my apartment. Damian and I were going to enjoy them. We had some old, beat up hand-me-downs last year.Liz gave me a gift card to download music. Andy, Noah and Connor bought me a year's membership in the Penn State Lettermen's Club. Hunter bought me a pair of leather driving gloves for the winter. Mom insisted Hunter actually did help pick out the gloves.Penny saved her gift for last. She handed me a fifteen by twenty inch box about three inches tall. I tore the paper off to find that the box was from Deerskin Leather, the quality leather goods store in Park City. I opened the box and found the leather jacket I had admired back in May when Penny and I went window shopping while we were looking for presents for the twins."This is wonderful, honey," I said. " ... but it is too much. I bought you a case of beer for your birthday. I saw how much this jacket cost. You should save your money for things you need." Nonsense, Dr. Chu pays me.
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