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" The father of the bride is an old friend of mine. There won't be an envelope in it for you, but I would appreciate it if you would take care of him after the dinner." Do I tell him you sent me?" No, but I will hint to him that you have been known to cheat on your husband and if I know him as well as I think I do he will hit on you. Just take it from there." He isn't fat and ugly is he?" Fat no, but ugly? That depends on your personal definition of what constitutes good looks." Oh goody - a blind date. Just what a girl my age needs." Oh give it up sweetie. A dick is a dick and it is another check mark in your book."When she left Dan's office Marci asked her what time she wanted to leave and she said regular quitting time would do."Where do you want to go?" I think maybe Susie Q's. I had good luck the last time I was there."The phone was ringing when she got back to her desk and she answered it."Fran? This is Pam; remember me?" Given what we did when we were last together it would be. “Piss and give me a clue Gran,” I giggled but half meaning it.“Don’t be a daft haporth Jim, I haven’t put that much on,” she snickered back.“You fucking have, enormous, but I still love you,” I retorted, grinning up my 67 year old grandmother on my dad’s side, from a so called vantage point between her cellulite dimpled thighs.“Hmm! Well I’m please to hear that. Only been away six years, put a bit of...”“Fat on...”I interrupted.She reached down over her bulk and tried to slap my head, but couldn’t reach. There happened to be a big roly poly belly in the way and she wasn’t strong enough to lever up and reach me. It was six and a half years ago yesterday when she and Grandad went to live in their beloved south of France on a nudist resort.“I was going to say tan, you cheeky little bugger,” Gran chuckled, her whole being wobbling like jelly.That gave me an opportunity to slide a hand under one of the two sweaty rolls of blubber that made up her grossly sagging belly. Of course I knew.
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