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I was awful at house chores and if asked what the difference was between a mop and a broom I wouldn’t be able to tell you. Luckily, we were fortunate enough to have hired help. Hired help that today had decided to get herself sick with mono and not show. The audacity of some people. Our gas stove had way too many buttons and in search of the right one I lit the wrong stove top which in turn set my sleeve on fire. In blind, white terror I felt someone else take control of my body and take me over to the sink, running cold water all over my sleeve to put the flames out. But it was too late, and the room had already filled with the putrid smell of burning fibers, my sleeve gently smoldering in the after flames. I might have heard the smoke detector beep somewhere in the distance, but it could have been those chicks hatching as well, immediately needing me. Suddenly she was six again, watching her mother from the corner of the kitchen, baby fat legs stretched out against the cold tiles. If you are 50 per cent male I will let you dress me like the woman in thepapers and be your slave for the weekend. If you are less than 50 per centmale you will be my slave for the weekend. Is that a deal?"Easy I thought. How could I fail the test. Every man must be at least 50 percent male!I filled out the questions and got to the last page where it said that itwould tell me my gender. I told Mylene to come with her leash ready. She didas she was told. So far so good I thought. We haven't even got to the answerand she knows what she's going to be doing this weekend.WHAT!?!I could not believe my eyes. The test not only did not show me as being 50per cent male it said I was 80 per cent female!As I stared at the screen in disbelief the leash was put round my neck andbefore I knew what was happening she had handcuffed me and was cutting offmy clothes with a pair of scissors. I wouldn't have minded if this had notbeen the only suit I had for work. The other was at the dry cleaners."What.
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