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I hasten out of bed and into the bathroom. ‘Same shit, different day,’ I think to myself, as I complete the mundane tasks of brushing my teeth, showering and changing into my uniform. It is while I am munching on my cereal that a sudden realization hits me. ‘Oh my GOD! It’s her birthday today.’ I curse myself for being an idiot, my mind racing with a thousand thoughts. ‘What do I get her? Why oh why did I forget. Christ,’ I think to myself, ‘I’m only a kid. I have trouble getting lunch money. Where am I going to get enough money to buy her a present?’ Hurriedly I finish my cornflakes, kiss my mom goodbye and race off to school. My feet pound on the gravel path, my mind working overtime, I curse myself for the umpteenth time. Amidst all the chaos something I once heard my father say comes back to me, ‘Of course,’ I think to myself, ‘flowers, that’s it I’ll get her flowers.’ A quick detour through the neighbor’s gardens and soon I have what I feel is the perfect red rose. Not too big. My demands were fun at first, novel for him. Then they wore him out and he bailed. The place still felt empty. As did I.Realising I was still stroking the guy's hair, I pulled away, grabbing the nylon robe and flicking it, letting it billow and settle around him before securing the Velcro and picking up the clippers. They buzzed into life in my hands. Similar tone and weight to the only other thing that buzzed in my life. Every damn night, sending me to sleep a panting, wet tangle of want, temporarily sated yet never cured. The unbreakable cycle of being mid-thirties and manless because everyone wrongly assumes you're fundamentally broken.I sighed and began trimming above his ear, the strokes automatic and mechanistic. Sideways, diagonal, nape. I pressed on, perhaps too hard as he winced, catching my eye in the mirror. "Rough day?"I shrugged. "Kids, pensioners, and the impatient." No Santa bearing gifts, in for a beard and eyebrow shape?"I smiled despite myself. "No such luck.".
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