Parker eyedhimself up and down. His collar-length, dark blonde hair had beentrimmed and styled into a bob cut with a side part. It was shorter inthe back and got slightly longer as it came forward. His aunt had thestylist come to her home to do it and, at that beautician's suggestion,lighter streaks had been added. He hated how girly it made him look andyet admitted that it flattered his pale oval face. He had on a hint ofeye makeup, including mascara to thicken his lashes, sparingly appliedblush, and the aforementioned lip gloss. It was a lot to put up with buthe had to consider that the alternative was a stay in prison, where asmall, delicate looking guy like himself would be the subject of lots ofunwanted attention from bigger and stronger inmates.He turned slowly to check his dress. The lace collar was high and itbuttoned in the back, so that he would have trouble getting out of itunless he was given help. What Parker didn't know was that it wasdesigned to be difficult. Christmas is especially vile since the people most likely to go into a huff over the gift you’ve bought them are those who have spent weeks telling you, “It’s the thought that counts.” And you can’t go shopping without being force fed trite sentiment masquerading as music, much as turkeys are twice-stuffed, alive and dead. I said as much to my wife, when the annual invitation arrived from Benjamin and Anne Taylor.“Don’t be silly,” Sandra told me. “It’ll be nice to socialize properly for a change.” I had no idea why my wife regarded indulging in silly games to be an instance of socializing properly. Presumably she was thinking more of the explicit ban on personal electronic devices contained in the invitation.“There’s a reason the smartphone and the iPad were invented,” I said darkly.“It’s no use complaining,” Sandra said. “We can’t not go. You know that perfectly well.”I sighed, eyeing the invitation theatrically. “’Christmas themed dress’,” I muttered. Please tell me you’ve thrown.
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