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Somehow, (it was no accident) I found myself seated next to her at one of the luncheon tables with quite a few other parents, mostly women. Everyone was introduced around and we had an enjoyable meal with lots of small talk before the guest speaker was welcomed at the podium. Unfortunately, she was an embittered old woman who carried the weight of the world on her shoulders. Her entire talk was a criticism of men, divorce, the legal system and life in general. When her tirade (disguised as a speech) was over, there was a smattering of polite but very uncomfortable applause.Judith raised the back of her hand to her mouth and whispered sideways to me, "I can understand why men don't like her. I don't like her and I'm not a man."I know I shouldn't have, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity. I whispered back, "What she really needs is a good roll in the hay."She turned and gave me a very strange look. I thought to myself, "Oh Hell, now you've done it!"I was very pleasantly surprised. We looked around, and decided we needed to find who ever owned them .Now my wife had on her best push up bra which showed plenty of cleavage ,with a pendant necklace which nestled right between her tits.We just entered the bar when a man came out who was the typical country guy,work hat jeans,dirty work shirt,”can I help you?” Yes, I’m Jack this is my wife Dee. Before I could say a word, he reached out and kissed her hand never taking his eye off her bodacious tits. ”I’m Rob, nice necklace!”We were looking at those slabs are they yours? “Yep, which ones are you interested in?” The two smaller ones, but we were not planning on this, and we have no cash on us.“Do you have a check?” “No” said my wife, but I really want those planks.” “Well, we can work something out,”said Rob. I told my wife you want them go in and barter with him. She said ,”OK I will” and entered the bar.20 minutes went by and I thought I better check on her. I entered the bar and I was not prepared for what I saw.My.
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