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It wears on you. Then there’s the anxiety that comes from the fallout of the illness. I.E. paying bills with little money. Trying to maintain relationships. Worries about the future and if you have one.Every now and then though, things ease up a bit. You don’t hurt so much. You’re mind is a little clearer and you find a smile on your face. That’s me at the moment. My head hurts and I had to leave work early because I went totally mute. But I’m not shaking and I don’t need my cane and my wife’s not crying or yelling at me. I feel relatively happy. I had a nap and a bowl of chili with some shredded cheese in it.Last night I was a little down and feeling envious which is an emotion I try to avoid like the plague. It’s almost as poisonous as bitterness which will kill your soul. I was envious because there’s all these people who can make choices and I can’t. Oh, I can make the choices, but I don’t have the power to back them up. Simple example: I can decide I want a Little Caesar’s. To describe this lady, she was around 40 years of age, short, wheatish complexion and on the heavier side. She had massive boobs, about 42 size.No I am not exaggerating. They were really big. She had a big ass too. She really looked very sexy and hot. With the pallu of her saree always on one side, her cleavage was always visible and it really turned me on so many times. I have masturbated thinking about her so many times, and still do. Any way, as she was supposed to cook and do all the house work, she used to come to our place by 6.30 in the morning, as I had to leave for work by 8.00 AM. A few days had passed by and I was thinking how to get this lady to bed. As usual, my masturbation continued in the bathroom, while she did the house work.Slowly I started to keep my bathroom door slightly open while having my bath, hoping that she would see me nude in the bathroom, masturbating. Well the opportunity came one day. I was having my bath and my landline phone rang. As I was bathing,.
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