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Watching my funeral from above, I saw schoolfriends, teachers, many strangers, my brother Sherwin, Fiona, and even Jesse. My babysitter flew all the way from France.There was not a dry eye in the church when everyone saw my small black coffin. They all thought of me. In the emotional atmosphere they thought about how playful and nice I was. When they thought about me, a piece of my identity was lodged in their minds, and suddenly my existence on earth started to have significance. It seems almost worthless doing anything on earth unless other people recognise it. I knew, however, that once many of the churchgoers went home to watch TV, their memories of me would start to fade. My brother, my babysitter, my parents, and my few friends will continue to mourn, but everyone else will move on with time. When those who remember me finally leave the world, their existence on earth will leave only a tiny speck on the timeline of existence. A thousand years from now, no one will be around to. There were all kinds of parties planned at one place or another. A lot of my friends would be attending one or more of them. I was just as happy to be on my own.Marla was insisting that I go with her and Pop to a New Years party at the Jenkins' home. I really didn't want to, even though I had an invitation. I was sure Merilee would be there, and I didn't need that right now. The party was Sunday night, so I had a couple of days to dream up an excuse not to go. Maybe I'd catch a cold by then.I was slightly surprised when Brains walked in with his wife. She worked at some law office or other, while Brains was the computer boss at the school board."Hey, Duke. How they hangin'?" he cracked. "You remember Sonya, don't you?" Sure ... nice to see you, Sonya. Happy New Year," I said, giving her a hug."Nice to see you too, Duke. How are you? Where's that nice lady I saw you with a while back?"I didn't want to get into telling her or Brains about my disaster of a love life, so I sort of.
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