.." Your body's been through a lot, Laura," Dr Hanley says. "The laxativesweakened you considerably, and things like gymnastics and dancing willjust put too much strain on it. You NEED to recover, to get strongeragain." ...But I'll get fat if I don't exercise," I whine in a feeble voice."Then do light exercise," the doctor advises. "Go for a walk, a swim...You ARE currently underweight for someone your height and weight. Gaininga kilogram or two won't hurt you, quite the opposite in fact." I sigh andnod my head, and when my dinner is brought to me later, I finish everybite of it, despite the stomach cramping it later causes as I try to getto sleep.Finally, on Friday morning, after a breakfast of corn flakes (which Iagain eat every bite of), I'm discharged from hospital, wearing a long-sleeved grey dress and thick black tights and hoping that I never setfoot in that place ever again. I still feel unsteady on my legs, havingspent over 36 hours in bed, but it does feel good to be in. “You are kind,” said Selena, which John took to mean harmless, a safe repeat booking. Selena told him that in two weeks she would be gone and he should visit her before she went and he promised he would. John asked her where she was going.“I move on,” shrugged Selena, “Maybe somewhere here, maybe another country I don’t know yet but I go.” As John thanked her at the doorway, Selena scrunched her eyes tightly shut and awkwardly leant into him to awkwardly plant a kiss on his lips. She had an aura of benevolence and decency, an innocence despite working at the coal face of dysfunctional male sexuality. John waved farewell as he passed the bin lockers. Selena stood at the top of the stairs reciprocating his wave and smiling. He turned back for a last glance as he exited the block but she had gone inside. Selena was as good as her word. John checked all the local listings three weeks later, finally in a position to make his promised return visit, and all her profiles had gone. Even her.
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