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”“All true, but Kimmy understood the limits when it started.”“What do you see in her? Tell me honestly.”“Simplicity. A simplicity that you and I had in August of 1981. A simplicity I need. Someone who has no demands of me, and provides comfort. The same as Debbie V did back in High School.”Elyse nodded, “Every time your life is in serious turmoil, that’s where you turn. Debbie was after Jen moved to Seattle. I was after Jen decided to go to Stanford. Now Kimmy comes after Jessica left you. There’s a pattern there. Once I had your son, I couldn’t be that person for you to turn to. It was no longer simple. Things make more sense now. When did you end things with Debbie V?”“Right before I took up with Kara in a serious way,” I said.“Which tells me that you’ll probably end it with Kimmy once Jessica comes back.”“I have no idea right now. I’m going to tell Jessica everything and let her decide what the next step is.”“Do you want to keep seeing Kimmy? And if so, why?”“I can’t give you an. But whatever it was, it was because of Lanie.That night I realized, I did have feelings for her. And let me just tell you, guilt smacked me upside the head that night. I lay on the couch, a sheet covering my feet, a pillow resting under my head, and all I could think about was how I had cheated on Lanie, that, and how I could have made the transition from cheating on her, to having some kind of crush on her. ——————————————————————————————————————— Over the next few weeks, my guilt slowly faded away, and soon I could only feel joy and happiness whenever I thought of Lanie sexually. We hadnt gotten any farther than first, even though it had been weeks since our trip to Santa Fe, but we had began to make-out on a regular basis, to a point were it was every day. Me and Lanie even began to talk more often, and we slowly discovered we had a lot more in common then I first thought. Eventually, my sexual frustration was replaced with the fact that I actually liked Lanie, and that I didnt.
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