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I chastised myself, realizing I was seriously crushing on a woman whom I still somehow believed was someone else’s wife. The conflicts in my mind were driving me to distraction. I struggled for composure.“Hi, Ben.”Was that angels singing?“Laura. You’re just in time for a debate about favorite TV shows!” My voice cracked a little in a failed attempt to stay cool.“Girls, are you driving Mr. Ben nuts with girl talk?”“Mom!” Hanna whined. “Mr. Ben is fun to talk to!”“Misser Ben is fun!” Mattie parroted.“Well, Mr. Ben, I was just coming out to see if the girls would like some lemonade on this hot day.”Hanna gave a dramatic “Yeah” as if she’d been wandering in the desert for days without water. Mattie jumped up and down repeating “Yes ... yes ... yes” with every leap.Hanna looked at Laura all excited. “Can Mr. Ben have some too?”Laura looked at me and smiled. I heard harps playing and I was melting into a puddle.“Mr. Ben, would you like to join us?”“Sure,” I blurted out as I tried to curb my. I tried to convince myself that this was enough, and then I looked to the side and saw Amanda there, in all her beauty, her vulnerability. I couldn't stop myself from imagining forcing myself inside of her, tying her, abusing every little piece of her little body however I saw fit. If I stayed in Shades Field with that girl, she would be mine to do whatever I wanted, it didn’t matter how disturbing, and nobody would ever know. The guests left at night. I told her not to worry about anything other than the house, and that from that moment on, I'd be taking care of everything else, including her. She made me bend forward, so she could kiss me on the cheek, and she thanked me. I gave her a tight hug and caressed her silky hair, "Don't worry, I'll take care of you," I said. She smiled and called it a night, going to her room upstairs. I had decided I'd let that night pass, and I'd make my first move the following morning, but I couldn't stop thinking about her, alone with me in that.
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