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He stepped inside carrying a small duffel bag. I glanced at it and wondered what was inside. “Probably just the oil and perhaps a towel,” I thought.I showed him to the kitchen so he could warm up the oil. As he quickly went about his work, we chatted for a bit, easing my nerves. I then showed him to my bedroom, where we had agreed would be the best place for a massage, the bed being so wonderfully comfy already. I had lit a few candles and turned on some soft music, setting a mood for relaxation. Although, I must admit the candles had an ulterior motive. I had thought about doing it with the lights on, but my shyness getting the better of me, I had lit the candles to dim his view of my body, afraid that he would find the flaws.I sat down on the bed not sure what to do with myself and waited for his instructions. I was looking down at my hands, nervously studying them as if they were some strange and new thing I had never seen before. With the same efficient movements he had. On the way to her job, she asked me if I remembered that I was to take it in once I dropped her off. I didn’t remember and we talked a bit then I found the memory of her telling me.I was so sad. There’s nothing like failing the people you love on a continual basis for your self esteem. Then my mind went to “This is really happening to me. I’m going away.” So I threw myself a pity party then I remember she had given me GRAPES! When I got home I could eat them. A small burst of joy went through me followed by FUCK! I’m living a Ralphie May comedy routine.Ralphie May had a routine where he talked about how happy retarded people were because they are pleased by simple things. While non-retarded people were unhappy because nothing ever pleased them.He asked, “Do you know how to make a retarded person happy? A Scooby-Doo lunch box and if they find a thermos of chocolate milk in it the motherfucker hit the lottery. While we couldn’t be happy because our Lexus wasn’t quite as new as our.
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