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The last few weeks had been a rollercoaster of emotions I was barelyprepared to process now, let alone in those moments then. My mindfluctuated so hard every day between loving my new clothes and wanting tokeep going and accept my feminized persona and be Lily with Erin all thetime, and hating what I had become, wanting it only to be over andregretting that I ever had to be chosen in the first place. I loved mynew clothes and I loved Erin, but I was ashamed to love them like I didand I was afraid of what others really thought of me. I remembereddressing up for our date in one of my favorite outfits of the wholeexperience. She said I didn't have to, but in that moment I wanted to, alot. I remembered my pure emotional breakdown that came in the lockerroom, but also the way she pulled the first tube of lipstick across mylips and I couldn't get enough of that feeling, or her. Erin was like anaddiction. It didn't matter whether I had wanted to stop or not, becauseI couldn't. But when I had. I had arrived around 7:30 am and did my normal opening routine; around 10 minutes to 8 I saw the delivery van pull to the rear of our office. I went out back to show them where to drop off the delivery to save myself having to move them to the proper location. What I saw next made my crotch stir: I saw the delivery guy step out of the van. He was a black guy, late twenties, about 6’3” and probably 275lb with what I would call a pro football player’s build. He was wearing a gray hoodie that fit snugly to his chest and tight pair of work-style khakis that cradled a very impressive bulge. I had to concentrate on looking at his face and not his package. He asked me where to place the delivery and I showed him the shelf, all the while admiring an awesome-looking bubble butt. After he was finished he said he was told to collect payment and I said I’d run inside and get him a check.I went inside to my office and he followed asking if he could use the restroom while I wrote his check. As I.
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