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All in all it’s boring and I hate boring. I decide to surprise my wife Kathleen hoping to actually spend a quiet moment with her. I manage to get out of the office a little early, I work for a security firm in the city encrypting networks for larger firms. I pull in the drive walking in the house through the garage. All seems pretty quiet so I wonder around a bit dropping my keys and stuff on the kitchen counter. Kathleen was nowhere to be seen so I figured maybe she was out running errands so I decide to shed my suit for a pair of jeans and an old t-shirt. I make my way up the stairs but as I get closer to the door I can hear noises coming from our bedroom. My ears immediately keen to those sounds waking the predator for the first time in a long time. At first I knew my ears were deceiving me those couldn’t be the whimpers of my wife. Don’t get me wrong my wife’s and I’s sex life wasn’t dried up by any stretch of the imagination, but it did manage to turn into the quickie we could. Can't remember most of it.9. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.10. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.11. He's not dead. He's electroencephalographically challenged.12. She's always late. In fact, her ancestors arrived on the "Juneflower."13. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.14. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.15. Honk if you love peace and quiet.16. Pardon my driving, I'm reloading.17. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?18. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.19. It is hard to understand how a cemetery can raise its burial costs and blame it on the higher cost of living.20. Just remember if it wasn't for gravity, we'd all fall off.21. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.22. It is said that if you line up all the.
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