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So, please, just try to bear with me while I reason this out with myself.” He finished his rant, and turned his eyes once again to study the passing scenery in the fading light.Lizzie sat in stunned silence in the impending darkness, mouth agape, staring at him. In slow motion, she turned her eyes forward. She felt like a weight was pressing down on her chest, like she couldn’t breath. “Stop the car.”Red turned to her, “Lizzie--”“I said, stop the car!” she exclaimed.Their driver pulled over, braking against the curb. Before the car had completely halted, Lizzie had already pulled open the door and bolted out. She stomped quickly away from the car, pulling her wrap tighter around herself protectively.“Lizzie!” he called after her. She ignored him, her pace increasing as she furiously swiped at the tears threatening to fall from her eyes.“Lizzie, wait!” he shouted as he grabbed her elbow, spinning her around to face him.“No!” she screamed at him. “No, Red! I can’t do this right now.”. What would another five years bring? Or ten? Or twenty? Would she still be the same woman who once believed that she could do anything? What was that old saying? ‘What you can believe, you can achieve’ Maybe so, but first you have to be able to believe it, and sometimes it was hard to even remember what that sort of ‘belief’ felt like. The exhilarating sense of freedom and power that came with the feeling that the future was wide open, that the past and present were just steps leading towards an open door and not, as she had begun to feel lately in some of her darker moments, the all too solid walls that comprised the totality of her existence. – All that has been is all that will ever be. – No! No! That couldn’t be true. There must be something more than this. More than Katie the farmers wife who cooked and cleaned and ‘stood by her man’ whatever that was supposed to mean. More certainly than the hurried, wordless wrestling matches that passed for sex these days. Katie had gotten.
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