It was daylight when I re-entered the world I felt stronger and was able to talk although the nurse told me not to, Jess and my Mother were still by my bedside both faces looked tired and were tear stained.Slowly the story emerged The car was driven by a young drunk driver speeding after hitting me he smashed into two cars and finally hit a lamp post.My Mother asked Jess to stay whilst she got some rest I think Jess was glad it was just the two of us. The nurses came to check up on me and give more tablets one mentioned how Jess had saved my life by doing CPR until the doctors and nurses took over. Jess played it down and made little of it I would hear more later.After the nurses had gone I asked Jess about it as we were on our own Jess spoke quietly ‘I love you with all my heart I gave you the greatest gift I could there is no way I’m going to lose you’ I gave Jesse’s hand a squeeze and told Jess I loved her.Later my Mother and Father came to visit, shortly after Jess left before. Really though, for me to properly regain my energy I would have to eat something, but thought repulses me. Instead of conjuring up food or even water, I use the dregs of my dwindling power to summon a short stone pillar from the earth by my feet. So simple, yet so essential, this three foot column could be the key to my freedom.I stand as close to it as I can, bracing myself for what I must do next. I take in a deep breath, trying to loosen the sudden tension in my body. Releasing the air does nothing to soothe me however and I feel an overwhelming panic begin to blossom in my chest. Once I do this, it cannot be undone. My breathing races and my heart thumps madly as I grip the smooth pillar, holding onto it as if it were a lifeline. More like a tombstone. The thought flits through my mind before I can stop it and I fall to my knees in grief. I don’t think I can do this! I sob uncontrollably, clinging onto the cold and unforgiving stone like a child to her mother’s skirt. A child. .
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