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The end result is that everything is incredibly crowded and it's difficult to get the bartenders to even serve you unless you have something with tits attached to your arm. And who really needs beer when you've got something with tits attached to your arm? That's the way I see it, anyway.The point is that I had gotten bored with the whole downtown scene in both Phoenix and Tempe, and I'd looked for something else to do. The city is surrounded by mountains, so I had decided to give hiking a try. I'm from a flat state, so it was all new to me. For which I hope some deity will grant me a plea of "guilty by ignorance", since what sane region of the planet has near-hundred degree temperatures in April?So here I am, empty Arrowhead bottle in my hand, three quarters of the way up some feature dubbed "the Flatiron" by the local yokels, thirsty as hell, and there's a naked chick furiously masturbating in a pool of water.A pool. A naked chick.I've seen those old cartoons where Daffy Duck. "Come out of your coma Jake". He was groggy. "Wha ... what do you want Kent?" "Let's do it". He foggy mind could not comprehend what I was saying. "Do what, do what Kent?" I took a deep breath. I was about to tread upon our friendship as hard as I ever dared. This was Pandora's Box. "Let's do what you said, let's swap wives." The glaze rolled from his eyes and there was a sudden clear lucidity that was eerie to see. He measured me evenly for some time. When he spoke, the drunkenness that overpowered his every syllable moments ago was gone. "You're telling me you want to sleep with my wife?" "Yes. But you said it first." "I said it first?" he seemed not to remember, but pondered the idea."Yes. You said it first. You said my wife Marcy would be a nice piece of ass." "I said that?" "Yes, Jake, you said that." He paused to think. Even as someone who can't read minds I could almost feel him think. After a long silence he said, "You realize of course this changes .
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