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Since I am now an object, chattel of limited value, an animal, I think of myself as an it a thing to be used, or not, by my owners or their agents. By the end of this sentence, I will no longer refer to myself as an I, instead it will refer to itself as just what it is, a thing, and use the proper words to do so. Ahhh. What a relief. To write of itself as other than an it, is stressful, reminding it of the way it used to think when it was a person, and the nightmarish pain that it now associates with the struggle it put up in fighting its surrender. You see, it's not that it lives without pain--on the contrary, it lives with pain every moment of its life. Just that it understands now that pain, abuse, degradation, humiliation, torture, punishment, service, and solitude are the states of existence that it was meant to experience at all times, and thus it is if not satisfied, accepting, of its lot.It has been 7 years since it has had an orgasm, and 7 years since it had its clit. " Sheproduced a bottle of pills out of her bag, I didn't see what they were,and undoing the cap said, "Take two of these, they will calm you down."When we returned home that following evening my hair was cut and styledlike a girls, my ears had been pierced and I had two gold studs in eachear, my fingernails and toenails had been shaped and were now a darkpink, after we had a rest, Auntie said in a stern tone of voice, "Beforewe have a fashion show there is something that I have got to do to youbefore anything, and I'm afraid you're not going to like it, but it mustbe done."I started to worry what it was, then she smiled and said, I am going topluck you eyebrows, it might hurt at first, but you will soon get usedto doing it by yourself, because girls don't have shaggy eyebrows. Bythe time Auntie had finished I had a pair of beautifully shaped eyebrowsI had ever seen. There was no way now that I could be mistaken for aboy, I looked face wise a true girl.After a truly painful time with.
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