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“Hi” said Mandy, carefully avoiding using his name, not sure if he was Woody or Woodrow at home “you haven’t forgotten you said you’d show me where the orchids are?”He looked confused, then daylight! Orchid – as in a name for the female genitalia – “Ah yes, I had forgotten, sorry. Give me five minutes” He dashed upstairs, scared that while he was gone, Mandy would say something that made it obvious they weren’t looking for plants. Ten minutes later he was down in jeans and lumberjack shirt, his dad looked and mouthed ‘really?’. His son was no natty dresser. Mandy and his mother were sharing beauty tips and drinking coffee. He waited patiently and finished his drink; then they left.“Tony”“Yes dear?”“Put your tongue back in. She’s your son’s girlfriend”“How? Why?”“Who knows? And I know she’s got a lovely bottom. But if you don’t stop ogling it as it wiggles down the street with our son, I may find it unnecessary to suggest we go upstairs”Like a dog trained to salivate at the sound of a. He was a bit of a late bloomer with girls, puberty only really seemed to hit when he saw a picture of Elle McPherson when he was about 16. After Elle he caught up rapidly. He used to run home from school everyday to try and catch the last half an hour of Baywatch. He dated a few girls when he went to college in London in 93. And he was engaged to a very nice girl when he finished college in 97. His fiancee called it off when she came across Wally's extensive collection of porn. That was before computers were as regularly used and Wally found it hard to explain the carefully boxed editions of most porn mags produced that he had in storage. The end of the 90s Wally spent moping (and masturbating) while applying for jobs. He finally landed a position with the London Underground and he did quite well. Getting promoted twice by 2006. Wally dated a bit never really felt attracted to his coworkers. There was something about the ludicrous beauty of celebrities and porn stars that seemed to.
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