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I’m so torn right now, that in a moment of weakness, I might fall.”“You’d trash your vows for this?”“Gwen, I think that the vows have been trashed by my wife, and that perhaps releases me from mine. But in my heart, I’m still married. I guess it would still be cheating.”“Cheating on a cheater? Interesting concept.”“Gwen, you’re not helping.”“Mick, find out what you can. Do all you can to find out if your marriage is worth saving. If you decide that it is, then do everything you can to save it. If it turns out not to be savable, then let me know and I’ll start lining up interviews for the mother of your kids.”“Really?” I tried to sound sarcastic, but I think the look on my face came off as hopeful.“Yes, Boss!” I hated to be called that. “Now are we going to do some work here today or not?”“Yes, we are ... Gwen?”“Yes.”“Thank you. I’m so happy that I was smart enough to hire you.”“Even a blind pig can find an acorn, Boss,” she smiled and stood to walk out of the office. Her ass seemed. It’d be nothing but cellulose.”“They boil this shit for hours, you know!”“No, they pasteurise it for about ninety seconds. I bet there’s a lot more vitamins in that jar than in a four day old peach we got at the weekly shop.”“Edwin should only ever eat fresh food!”“That’s fine, but it’s Muggins here who has to cook it, isn’t it? Am I now going to have to prepare breakfast and lunch for him as well? I’m not saying it’s all he should eat, but just be grateful we have this available to us. Our grandparents didn’t.”We rarely have arguments, Mel and I. But we were both continually exhausted. Yes, we had Kate and even Kelly around to help us, but Edwin was our kid and we did the bulk of the nappies and the feeding and the nightly walkabouts when he couldn’t sleep because shards of enamel were tearing through his gums. We hadn’t had proper sex in ages, Mel hated the way her breasts began to look, I can’t go anywhere without weird and deeply disturbing shit happening and even though we were.
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