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."Watching you for the last few days has made me aware of just how muchthis means to you Carolyn. The way you walk, act, look, everything, ithas all changed, including some of the expressions you're using, whichI'm sure you didn't realize. As much as I never expected my son to turnout to be a girl, and as much as I didn't like it, I have to say thatyou have changed my mind about boys that want to be girls. I alwaysthought that if I had a daughter, she would be just like you." Therewas nothing I could say to that, so I remained silent. "Since it isplainly obvious to me that you will not willingly return to being aboy, I guess I can accept the fact that I now have that daughter Ialways wanted. How about we start all over again? Let me be the fatheryou think I am rather than the fool I was when you told me aboutCarolyn."Dad had reached out, and I took his hand in mine even as we both shedtears. "Mom" I said, and he assured me that he did not want me toreplace her, he only wanted me to. I was scared that if I saw alternatives, what happens if the outcome still meant death. It has not happened yet, but it still scares me to second-guess myself. Therefore, I just use my skill and let instinct guide me. Moreover, 20 minutes planning was very straining on me. Seeing an image was easy to control, I had even made it 3D of sorts in my head, and could change angles and points of view to see all that was to be seen of the rescue area. To fully hold that image for 5 minutes was bad enough, but 20 almost knocked me out. I may not get pain anymore, but too much time examining the image tired me out fast. The other problem was the further in time I looked; the harder the image can be clearly seen, the more concentration and strain I had to put in. So 5 minutes was all the time I got before the event. When I arrived, the first thing I would do was save those in danger, then if I needed to, I would make sure the area was safe.I was getting and checking warnings almost all the.
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