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As much intimacy as they had shared not to mention the intimacies she (and presumably he) had experienced separately as a result of their relationship, she felt much like an adolescent. As much as she wanted him, needed him, there remained the fear that she wouldn’t feel that way on meeting him. Worse, she feared that he wouldn’t want her. They were lovers, new lovers and not. Would they savor that delicious and exciting awkwardness of new though decidedly adult lovers or would they be the awkward adolescents of their thankfully buried memories? Their meeting impending, she remembered so much of their erotic interests as she contemplated what she might wear. Despite the difficulty of selecting clothes, that could be relatively easy dictated in part by the public nature of their meeting, that it was downtown, the season, etc. Should she wear pants and, if so, how tight or loose? Should she wear a skirt and if so, how tight or loose? How much should she exhibit herself for him? Should. Then I curtsied, said "Thank you, Mrs. Taylor," and left. As I was girlishly mincing away, mother emerged from the shadows. "Yes," she said. "It's Billy. All month he's been pestering me about dressing up like a girl for Halloween -- and not just a girl, but a sexy French maid. Finally, I just gave in. I'm hoping it's a stage he's going through and that he'll outgrow it -- like the terrible twos. In the meantime, what's the harm? It's just pretend. Right?"It was a lie she would repeat all evening to the neighbors, her girlfriends, and anyone who knew me. It was so humiliating. At least, we didn't run into any of the guys from school. It was only theneighbors and their children who would now give me funny looks as the kind of boy who liked to dress up as a French maid and pretend he was a girl!Before long I was able to get my purse filled with candy. Fortunately a number of the neighbors were pretty generous and gave me lots of it. Who knows? Maybe they felt sorry for me. In any case.
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