“Then I have one more idea,” I said.” Both parents looked at me, thinking I was going to order them straight into another ‘scene’.“Mom, if I ever call you a whale, you’ll know I’m really, truly disappointed in you and I really can’t stand your guts. Anything else negative, derogatory, mean or hurtful is just an act. Dad, if I call you pompous, I mean I would really crush you under my thumb if I could. Every single other thing I do or say up till then is an act, okay?”“Whale for mom and pompous for me. Got it. Your mom is so tiny I can’t even imagine you using that word by mistake.”“Yeah, like you even know what pompous looks like, dear,” mom squeezed dad’s hand. “You are just the sweetest honey I’ve ever tasted.”“Then we’re going to continue. But I need dad to play a different role for now. Dad, are you up for it?”“As long as it doesn’t include gay stuff, pumpkin. That shit freaked me the hell out.”Dad had cussed again. I understood perfectly how intensely he felt about it.“Can you. She was siding with those who took note of Charlie and expressed with a slightly uncomfortable grimace or even a nod to their partners their sympathy for Charlie’s plight. And she very much sided against those whose faces and even leering expressions betrayed that Charlie was, to them, someone who deserved only to be mocked. Fortunately for Charlie, the barman was definitely in the first camp and was, if anything, perhaps a little too solicitous in his attention. Jane now saw in Charlie not just a man who also thought David Tennant was the better Dr Who and that Chris Evans was now a better disc jockey than when he’d been as a younger man, but also that there was something heroic, even noble, about him. And it was with this generous thought that Jane took the glass of wine from Charlie and dipped her fingers into one of the packets of exotically flavoured crisps that Charlie ripped open onto the table. “Have you been to this pub often?” Jane asked. “Just a couple of times,” said.
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