You demanded we resume our relationship despite the fact that I pointed out the obvious fact that we had not had a relationship. By every objective standard one date even where sex is involved does not constitute a relationship. To further dissuade you I advised I was officially engaged and displayed my engagement ring. So every rational person would have to conclude that there was nothing there, there. However you intruded in my life most grievously last May. You entered my fiancée’s apartment as we were engaged in sex shouting incomprehensibly words I will nedver forget: ‘You fucking whore! You don’t deserve to live…’ Those words cannot be justified even by the delusional. Then you shot my fiancée, Bruce Fielding dead, a man who did no harm to you. You then shot me intending to kill me, but by the grace of God I survived. On many occasions during the past eight months I harbored the morbid wish that you would have succeeded in killing me. At least I would have been spared the. .. I heard the key in the lock, he was back! I quickly resumed the position just seconds before he entered the room. He seemed like he was in a hurry, late for some unknown appointment, preoccupied. But when he saw me there, still naked on the floor, His floor, His handsome rugged face shone, it was lit up with something I could not quite fathom. Pride? Joy? Maybe even pleasure?He told me simply to rise, get dressed and go home, that He would see me later.As I walked home the smile on my face proclaimed my jubilance to the world. I had pride in my heart, I had a lover in Renaud, who cared for my pleasure. Who made me cum like no-one else ever had. I felt I was victorious. I had won over a powerful man by giving him my body.When I got back to our little shared room, Panek, my boyfriend, pestered me with what now seemed to be trivial questions. Where had I been, where was his t-shirt, why didn’t we have any milk? In truth I couldn’t care, these questions simply washed over me and I.
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