I took out a long black dress and looked at it through the mirror."Nice, I like this" I thought, suddenly countered by, "What are you thinking? You're having dinner with a friend, not going to a prom."My pantsuit, slacks, skirts, all received similar responses. I felt like I tried on all my clothes, until I finally settled on a white, one-piece, halter dress that fell just below my knees. I let my hair fall on my back and shoulders and looked at myself in the mirror. I did a pirouette which partly lifted my skirt."That should do. It's sexy enough but not too sexy."To be honest, dear Readers, I thought about going out without wearing any underwear, (his words really messed me up ... bad... ), but decided to wear a white thong and a matching low-cupped bra that hooked at the front, which barely covered my nipples.It was almost 7:30 when I left home. As usual, I had to put on a light sweater on top so that my mom wouldn't catch me wearing something so sexy. (Alright, the dress was way. 5" and just a little over nine stone. Now, at the age of 25, I'm 5'7" and ten and a half stone- but I have been a lot heavier in the past.When I met Jamie, I was a fairly hefty twelve stone- I'm forever thankfulthat amongst her male friends were two fitness instructors.Of course, back when I was nineteen, I didn't think anything of myweight- and I certainly didn't think anything of never being able to bearchildren. Now, however, as I cradle my infant nephew in my arms, I'mbeginning to realise the price I paid to fulfil my lifelong ambition ofbeing a man. The thought of growing a new life inside me, nurturing it,loving it and being loved in return... It's undoubtedly the feminineexperience that I most regret missing out on, if not the only experience.But I know that deep down inside, I'd have been a terrible mother- ifonly modern medicine was good enough to make it so that I had a chance tobe a father..."Aww, he really loves his Uncle Stuart!" Emma coos as I gently rock thetiny baby.
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