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I hadn’t fought back. I was a terrible mess. It was my fault for provoking Clara. I should have known my place. If I had submitted fully from the start I would not have been punished.Then I’d remember where I was. Fiona lay beside me, her body warm and comforting, filled with the strength and grace I would never have. Perhaps it had only been pity, but she had come for me when I’d needed her the most. She had saved me from the darkest despair, and not only that; she had taken me to her home. Ok, it wasn’t her bed, in her own room. I obviously didn’t deserve that anymore, if I ever had, but she still cared about me enough to look after me and shelter me through the night. My breath would slow down, and I’d relax a little, knowing nothing bad could get at me through her. I was safe. Then I’d fall asleep again.Fiona woke me up and forced some medicine on me. All I wanted was to sleep, and preferably not to wake up again. I was so tired of everything. I had spent the last few years. Do something. I can’t, not working I guess.”She felt his arm slide across her shoulders. He pulled her easily to him, her head resting against his chest. His free hand stroked her cheek.“I don’t understand. You have helped. We’ve been getting together ever since I left the hospital. You’ve been cooking for me, keeping me company. How have you not helped?”“No,” shook her head again, “not like that. You’ve changed, we’ve all noticed. I thought I could get you back to your old self, but I can’t. I can’t, I’ve tried but it isn’t working.”Leaning against him as she was, Ellen could feel him exhale. It was like he was deflating.“Ellen, don’t put this on yourself. I’m not sure how to explain this.” She waited while he paused. “Look, this heart thing, I know it was no big deal, but it’s the beginning of something. I know there’s going to be more problems from here on out. This is just the start. A few weeks ago I was in good health, or thought I was. Now, suddenly I’m an old man; not in.
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