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They caught up on her job and life in the city…if you could call her existence that. Since she had lost the baby that had been her husband’s final gift to her just two weeks after his funeral, Jill had thrown herself into saving as many children as she could. Obviously cruel fate had decided that she would never have any of her own, so it was the best she could do with her life. She was exhausted as she slipped beneath the crisp cotton sheets in the room that had once been Peter’s and finally theirs. But try as she might, she simply could not quiet her restless mind. It was always the same, the questions, the regrets, the what-if’s of life. But most of all, it was the chest tightening sense of a life-time of loss. Her mother…her childhood…Peter…their baby. It seemed sometimes too much to bear. In the end, she had given up and tip-toed down the stairs to the kitchen for a cup of the hot cocoa that she knew Shelly still kept in the cabinet above the stove. But she stopped cold as she. I didn't even get out of bed and say goodbye. Why didn't I? I was awake and I heard him moving around before he left. Why couldn't I have taken him to the airport? I could have spent those last minutes with him. I do care about him and I do honestly love him." Then it dawned on her again as it had so many times in the last several month. "Do I honestly love him? Would he honestly believe that I still love him with all my heart if he knew about Sean and me? If I can't be honest with him, at least I should be honest with myself." Then Mary started crying softly, hugging her self and thinking. "Do I still love my husband? I don't know. I know that I love what I have with Sean. The sex is really good, boy, can he really ring my bell. Is Sean a better lover than Mike? Damn, it's been so long since Mike has made love to me. I can't even remember the last time." Mary suddenly realized why she was a little sad. "I miss Mike!" She was actually surprised with that revelation. "Why do I miss.
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