As a girl, I was able to figure out boys a little easier than othergirls. I could pick out the ones that were true gentlemen a bit easier,and knew the ones that just wanted to go for a romp in the hay, and stayaway from them.What was really weird though is that they were both a version of me, butthey were individuals as well. The two realities mirrored each otherpretty evenly. If Joshua was sick, it was a safe bet that Tiffany wastoo. If Tiffany was spending the night with her friends seeing a chick-flick at the theater, Joshua was probably at the movies with the guyswatching a bang-em-up action flick.But as a guy, there was no desire to be a girl. I was happy being aguy, and doing guy things. And as Tiffany, I enjoyed being a girl. Itfelt natural, it felt normal. I had no desire to be a boy. I enjoyedbeing Joshua, and I enjoyed being Tiffany.And so it was that through my teen years, I hopped between realities afew times a year; sometimes intentional, but mostly accidental. . The problem was, from what I had seen I had to look again.I was shaking as I opened her bedroom door so I could peek in. I felt fairly safe because of the way my dad had to place the bed so they could use the shelf above the closet, the door to the bedroom was behind the huge bookcase head board. With the door right next to the right side of the bed opening up the way it did I knew it was impossible to see if the door was open or not with out moving halfway down the bed and turning all the way to the right.With the door where it was, it allowed me to stand there looking in with the door open about a foot. I could see that my mother was laying on the sheets and the blankets where at her feet. I could see her right arm laying on her tummy. I could see that she was moving her wrist and her legs were open. It was clear to me that she was using something between her legs.I watched her for the longest time before looking up at the TV to see what it was that she was watching. I saw a woman.
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