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.. it could ruin everything.” I hate the thought of the struggle she must be going through as her desire, her long suppressed lust, pushes against her traditional Southern upbringing. Little white Episcopal choir girls are pretty heavily indoctrinated it seems.She's so totally convinced that if she actually violated her three months old wedding vows her marriage, indeed her whole life would be over. She'd never be able to look at her family or friends again. How could I help her get over all that baggage?“Don't think like that, baby,” I told her. “You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. And more importantly, you can do whatever you want to. See it like that. Just fuck him, and then we'll go on from there.” Parking the car, I hold her and wipe away her tears, assuring her over and over that nothing will ever make me stop loving her.But as she softly sobs, she opens her heart to me with that squeaky little teary voice, and for the first time I think I begin to understand her. I continued to trawl around for people who knew our blackmailer. Heseemed to have changed for the worse after his boyfriend left to go backto Spain about a year ago. There seemed to have been a bust up that endeda relationship that had last five or six years.I phoned Fran to see about progress on the blackmail case. They werestill digging and were not going to interview our blackmailer for a dayor so.That evening Dolores got in touch. There was a show on at predominantlyGay pub in south London on Wednesday night and her act had pulled out atthe last minute. Could I stand in? I thought that it would be fun, so Isaid yes.Tuesday was a dead day. Nothing came from Fran, I found nothing new aboutour blackmailer and it was a quiet day in the shop. I told Sue and Carolabout my surprise gig and they decided that they wanted to come andwatch.On Wednesday I was still getting morning sickness but it was not as bad.I contacted Fran and she told me that they would be interviewing ourblackmailer.
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