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I got a general sense of where to aim and then closed my eyes. I exhaled slowly, focusing myself on my increasing power to defy all logic. All this time the only thing I ever had to do was believe in my ability to do something and it would be done. This shouldn’t be any different. Then, I brought the knife forward, full force. There was no pain. I felt no blood going down my hand. When I opened my eyes, my mouth slowly spread into a huge grin — the knife didn’t harm me at all. It was exactly what I was hoping for. I laughed as I tried to stab myself over and over, but my skin was completely impenetrable. Anyone who would’ve seen me at that point, laughing, trying to stab myself, would’ve thought I was completely insane. I was just overjoyed. Time and time again, my ability to do seemingly anything astounded me. All throughout eating my lunch, I couldn’t stop thinking about my awesome powers. It didn’t take very long before I started getting even more ideas. I had told Sarah that. We made love on fourteen of those nights. How could I have fallen in love so quickly and how could it hurt so much to lose someone after such a short romance? I only saw Melissa twice more and both of those occasions were painful. The first of these was during final implementation of my project the third week of May. I planned to be there all week to help shepherd the changeover. Joan told me she wanted to go with me. I’m sure she discussed it with the therapist first and got his concurrence that seeing Melissa would somehow help her. Her mother, who did not know what was going on, came up from Florida to stay with the kids. Joan and I drove up on Sunday to the Holiday Inn, the site of my first date with Melissa. Joan stayed at the motel Monday to relax, lying out by the pool. Tuesday morning she rode in with me. She looked great, wearing a light weight sweater and a fitted skirt which showed off her now slim figure. I introduced her to the managers and the secretaries as we made.
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