I just... Ithought people liked me and I felt I'd turned inside out. I saw myselfin a window. I had felt sexy when I got up and then I felt like a tart.The janitor came and scrubbed it off and he was like, "Don't worry. IfI catch the little bastard that did this they'll know what for." But Icouldn't look at him. Something shrivelled up inside me and I felt sickthe rest of the day.And Greg was like totally oblivious, like nothing happened."Oh yeah, I heard about that, some little shite messing about. I getthat all the time - 'loser', 'wanker' - it doesn't mean anything."Or maybe he wasn't oblivious. Maybe he knew exactly what I'd been doingbut he wasn't bothered. Or maybe he just didn't want me to think he wasbothered. God bless him. I do not understand that boy in any way, but Ithink I love him.God, what's this? Old pictures in crayon - me and Mummy, Aunt Lucy,Mummy and Daddy (that's my stepdad). This one's a bit savage, allspiky, red, orange, black. Oh, God! I think it's a car. "Anything," she said, or tried to, what came out was muffled and barely comprehensible. "Oh, I’d be careful with offers like that," Lisa chuckled, "you’ve no idea what you might agree to this way. No, offer me something specific, something that makes me hot. But make it quick, if you come beforehand, I’ll be rather upset." Helen’s thoughts raced. It had to be something demeaning, or painful. Something creative. She could offer to drink Lisa’s pee, but she couldn’t bring herself to do that, the acrid taste still on the forefront of her mind. For a moment, she was at a loss, but then her mind went back to the movies, and she realized, with a strange feeling of gratefulness, that those had probably been played just to give her ideas. "Whiff me," she stammered around the finger still in her mouth, "whiff me harf." "Whip you? I could do that." Lisa didn’t appear averse to the idea. "What should I use, though?" Her eyes bore into Helen’s. "Feh cane!" The words had tumbled out of her mouth.
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