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The bloke that gave me the advice informed me of the best times to go down and which particular area I should cruise in, "You wont regret it" I can remember him telling me.So the following week I booked Friday off at work as the bloke I'd met said Friday afternoons after 2pm would be the best time to visit as all the local industries closed for the weekend. Well Friday came and I prepared by having a shower and a shave, the cloths I picked out a t-shirt and a pair of loose fitting shorts, they were a pair of lycra shorts, I thought id wear these as they'd show my cock off. I was actually feeling pretty nervous about it as I got really comfortable with the cruising areas I already new.So the time came and I drove down to the cruising area in my van, it was a forest with lots of little carparks along the periphery, I arrived at 1:30ish to the carpark he instructed me to use, even at that time it was probably a third full and it was a pretty sizeable car park. I sat in my van smoking. What little information I could elicit from my remaining friends in Holloway suggested that she really had gone over the edge into full-blown psychosis, and was under a Largactil cosh twenty-four hours a day.I soon gave up the idea of ending my own part in the struggle, but was so numb with grief and guilt I could barely function. I was told repeatedly that I was far more valuable to my chosen people alive than dead, and that WOOP would be a fitting memorial to Steve. So for a while I survived one day at a time. My true friends were my rock. Jodie and Mel, Felicity, and the women from the office flanked me at Steve's funeral and kept the press from harassing me too much. I was blind with grief for days, but never without a friend to hand.As I recovered, the one thing that I couldn't escape was that Sarah and Steve had fought over me. I'd been used yet again, my lovers has been set up, I had been used as bait, and it was even worse than the rape. I was so disgusted I had to find.
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